I've never been opposed to tattoos, but never really felt strongly enough about anything before to actually get one. But this - this being alive thing - that is pretty powerful. This permanent mark on my skin is a combination of celebration and reminder. Celebrating the triumph over death (at least for now); celebrating all the things we've learned through this journey; celebrating love and health and sunny days!
But it also serves as a potent reminder. A reminder that I am alive and that I almost wasn't; a reminder that today might be my last sunrise, so I better enjoy it; and most importantly, a reminder that even on the bad days, when the pain is almost unbearable or everything is going to shit at work, the sun still came up today, so its a good day, another day that I almost didn't have. Deep, huh?
Let me explain the design, which was done by a wonderfully talented artist friend in Arizona (https://www.artexpressionsbyjen.com/). The sun is a daily reminder of my father's spirit. Those of you who didn't know him, my father was the model of optimism and gratitude. He had his first heart attack when I was 5, and continued to have multiple additional heart attacks over the years until he passed away in 2015. On top of all that, he also endured excruciating back and leg pain from severe stenosis in his spine. He survived breast cancer. He was on so many medications, the stock price of the pharmaceutical companies dropped when he died. But you know what he said every single morning of his life? He said "the sun came up again today - its another day!" with a giant smile. He appreciated every single goddamned day he had and he never ever complained about his pain or illnesses or how many doctor appointments he had or how many medications he took. He had a deep appreciation for every minute of the life he had, and loved my mother and me ferociously (even when we were being assholes) because he understood how precious every minute of life is. It was his spirit and attitude that kept me going through the darkest moments of cancer, and that spirit that I don't ever want to lose. When I told my artist that story, and asked her to put that in a tattoo, she came up with this, which perfectly captures my father's spirit.
So there you have it. Thanks for the strength, Dad! Now every time I forget how lucky I am, or when I want to give in to the pain, I've got a little reminder on the inside of my left wrist. Celebration and reminder. 😎
