Laughter is awesome!

My insurance pays for two "breast prosthesis" and a "cranial prosthesis".  (That's fake boobies and a wig to normal people).  After a long morning of doctors and tests, I went for the fitting this afternoon.  Doug came with me.  Despite being way too sober for that kind of torture, it was actually fun!

The ladies at the shop were freaking awesome.  They certainly gauged their interactions by my mood.  The wig (uh, sorry, "cranial prosthesis") was first.  I am now a platinum blonde (with just the right amount of darker roots) in a very military-appropriate bob.  I tried the "California wavy" (way too old for that), the "spiky readhead" (way too scary) and the "soap opera 80's feather" (not slutty enough for that one).  Ended up with the boring AR-670-1 compliant bob.s  The silver lining here is that the last time I had that hairstyle (naturally) I spent a fortune every few weeks on highlights, trims and fancy products, and 45-minutes every morning with a flat iron.  To the extent I ever actually wear this one, its fully paid for and easy!!  Woo hooo!

Next was the fake booby fitting.  I had an option of being anything from an A to a DD.  Seriously.  I simply asked for "perky".  The first set the lady brought in made both Doug and I get the uncontrollable giggles .... especially when he said "be careful, you'll poke your eye out!!!".   There were so many options - soft, firm, lumpy, wide, narrow .... and the funniest - the ones made from little sand-like granules that you can wear while swimming.  WHO WEARS A FAKE BOOBIES WHEN SWIMMING?????

Anyhoo, after much laughter, we ended up with a whole bag full of goodies that I'll probably never wear.  But hey, insurance paid for it, so I might as well stock up for future "date nights" or something.